Wednesday, February 16, 2011

1

She posted me something on my wall through Facebook;she finally had an Facebook account.I never thought of that before because the conversation that we had last time was about Internet.She asked me about something IT because I was quite familiar with operating systems and network connections.Her computer was unable to connect to Internet through her modem.She was almost busy with her pounds of homework which given by her insane teachers for the holidays' homework ;all of the homework must be done with presentation through computer and searched information on the Internet.
'Thanks for fixing my computer, you're so great! I own you a meal.Call me whenever you want.' And, that was what she posted just a few seconds ago before I refreshed my page.I felt a wave of elation and sweetness swept through me.However,our first conversation was quite serious which largely contained about works.Even though it was serious tone when we were discussing about homework and computer stuff, it also gave me a surge of happiness and excitement.From her tone, I was surprised that she knew a lot of things that I expected except computer.
People kept discussing that she had a pair of emerald green eyes,like tortoise but all I saw was just a pair of indescribable color of enticing eyes.It was evening on the way to school hall that we both having our first conversation.It seemed like the sunset could even be like an ethereal to everything around me.It was attractive,keeping to stare inside of her eyes,like I was a germinating seed that could not live without the sunlight just like her.I stared at her eyes until she snapped at me and threw me an angelic smile under the sunset.Her smile was the most deadly thing to my heart.I could feel like every parts of my body were hardly to obey the function that my nerve cell sent.But I did not give a damn,continue our conversation even though the embarrassment.

'Yeah.I know that the function must be differentiated and integral again.But,it would be the same with teacher's answer',she was puzzled but some Mathematics questions and gaining aid from me.
'It won't be if you didn't make any mistake.Let me help you correcting',she leaned over her book to me and gave me her pink color mechanical pencil too.As I pointing her solution,she kept looking at my direction.Was she looking at me or her solution?, I thought to myself and corrected her solution.
'Got'cha.The 'v' must be differentiated first then only 'u'.So,I guess you got a careless mistake.Just try to be careful next time when doing these fractional question.',She blinked and grinned at me.Seemed like she was saying some sort of thank you but she did not say it.We remained silence for a short period of time.Suddenly,she came out with a topic.
'I think I'll be very glad if you come my house and fix my connection failure problem? This Friday? After schooling?',grabbing my bottle as hard as possible and my mind could think about any answer to reply her question.Was that the first step to know her by fixing her computer?, again, I thought to myself.I just blurted out words and complied her request with a nod.She nodded too and a little blush.At least,it could be our first time though.I sent her till the teacher's office and bid a goodbye.
I walked back to my home pace by pace with feeling of happiness.I felt like I was not hungry and exhausted at all even though I had six hours of schooling with an empty stomach.It was happening to me ; I faced my mirror in my room and slapped myself for assurance that I was in the present.Even my sister looked at me like I was a madman dancing in my room for what's sake that could make me so happy.I just told her that little girl would not know much things in the awesome and lovely world.
This Friday had came and I had been so excited about this day.I tried to be ordinary and smart whenever she passed by my class.It seemed like old-school-typed of love;Your apple of an eye passed by your class and met your eyes in a fraction of moment and both of you felt with a kind of excitement like holding each other hand in a large green soft hill,having slices of apple pie and talking about love.But,it went like that to me,and her too? After school,I packed my books quickly and got myself clean up like a wise guy,waiting her in front of her class.She bid goodbye with her friend and walked towards my direction.My heartbeat was increasing like I was running for a Marathon,almost jumped out from my chest.
'So,I guess it is just we two, huh?'
'Yeah? It is just we two.Doesn't it sound good?'
'Yeah.Just you and me,in my house , my room.'
'Yeah.Your room.',feeling a butterfly in my stomach.
'You know,actually,I..like to have more spaces to know one guy lonely with him',she did not look at me as she spoke that sentence.Kind of embarrassing when one girl talked about sensation stuffs as a topic with a guy.
'Yea...h? So...,how was you going to know about this-s-s....guy?'I stammered out my words.She laughed at my tone.
'Perhaps,conversation? It's the solution to solve.'I nodded as she spoke about this.
Not longer,we reached,her home.It was double-storey house painted with greenish yellowish paint.It was quite relaxing and peaceful to glance at once.I stepped in her house.The floor was made of concrite which was quite cold.There were no body at home during this time as she told me.Parents went to work and siblings went to school, so just me and her.She gave out her hand and welcomed me to go upstair. It was my pleasure or known as chance to hold her hand? I held it.It was warm and tiny.I could even feel that our heartbeat filled the entire room, it was like,'Lub' 'Dub', 'Lub','Dub'...

Friday, October 15, 2010

No tittle....

I still remembered a quite interested conversation with friends last few months.We were having class and it was break time.Suddenly,my mind came across a question - If you were able to have a super power,what kind of super power you would want to have.I asked my friends.They just answered with a few super power like super strength,wind walker,incredibly speeding and etc.I asked others friends,the same question too.They answered - mind reading,flying,intelligence and emotional control skill.I was curious about myself what would I asking about this question.

After the class,I got myself back to my house and did my assignments.When I finished my works,I stared outside of my window and took a look.Pondering about something.Something which was about my life.I wondered what I had done to before until now.I opened my drawer and read back my diaries and albums.In the album,it got my piCtures with my family and friends when I was small.The next page was the latest pictures with my family to a Sweden.I could recall the memories in my brain that moment.Snow flakes fell down on my palm from the clear blue sky,ground was covered with a thick layer of snow.My vision could be only white color- it was winter that time.Whole family included me were very enjoyed the harmony.Eating 3pts beef and glasses of red wine.

Back some more,was the pictures with my friends.Three of us had done something that we would never do in teenage stage of my life.We bought chemical items back to my house and ready to do something smoky.We all went through all the processes and used about an hour to make that thing.We prepared,cooked,wrapped,waited,and ready to ignite.We all recorded the whole scenario of the processes and some crap and funny moments.Those memories with friends could hardly be removed from my minds and still bewitched in the rejoice.We got all the dirt on our hands and legs.Even worse,we got our chemical exploded.

There was a picture that made me sad.I got my heart swell and I never got that repaired well.Emotional recovery from the illness of love could be the hardest thing to do.I captured a picture of you when you were having the same class with me.You would never know I got your picture.How could I be so much pathetic to get your picture in this way? But it was just the way to prevent my secret being discovered- I fell in love with you.The picture captured was when you were paying attention to the class.I never met you ,I never said a 'Hi' to you ,I never knoW you but just it was your name.I had been a little courage to talk to you but I never did it because there was somebody around you.I walked backwards and you were gone.I still stood on the circle that I never ever broke it.Probably I did not have that enough of courage to face you.Your beautiful was uncontrollable appeared in my mind and it would not able to be erased from my head.

Until a day,one of my friend told me that you were leaving.I thought it was joke.A pathetic joke that I ever heard.I bet you were not had any impression about me,neither you wanted to know me or not.But I just did not care.Though,you never had embedded any memories in my head but your smile ,your moves and your voice.I could hardly forget.I never got a tear in my eyes because I must learn how to be strong even though it was really a wasted chance.If I was the one of could have a super power,I wished I could time travel back to the moment that first time I saw you....

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Missed.

When a person is leaving from us to another country or from us, bundles of emotion will be burst out from the deepest of your heart.Most of the people will be sad to know this rueful news,of course, some of them will be frustrated because he or she do not appreciate what they have spend the time with that person.If a stranger had left the country to another,surely, you would be apathetic.However,if a girl that you did not know, she did the same thing as the example shown-I felt a sudden of sadness and a little of penance.I did know her name.I used to notice her when the tuition class took a brief break.Pathetically, I did not meet her officially.

2010 is a challenging year,I have met a lot of things,peoples,foods,places,knowledge and challenges.The only one thing that I never ever met is the girl that I keep noticing.Mid-year of 2010,you brought me alive from the tenderness and emptiness of my heart.She was not any special.She was not that types of girl that I would say the girl was freaking hot- big boobies and nice ass.But,she did turn me on somehow.She was normal to the others but for me,she kind of...good-girl-types.At that moment, I did not think so far because she really looked like an ordinary girl.

Every Tuesday,Thrusday,Friday and Saturday,I would be a little mad for going to tuition center-for learning and...'seeking'.Learning the new knowledge from tutors and 'seeking' for those hot chicks there.Friends and I found a lot of hot chicks with short pants,tight clothes and nice ass and boobies,of course.But,when I had a second,my head would turn to my backside and took a glance at her unconsciously,somehow.Still,I couldn't find any special about her even though I got a little interested in her.

Every Thrusday was my favorite that time-three hours of classes with her.Our distance in class was far but...she seemed to sat at the position where I could really see her clearly without any people blocking me.Maybe I was thinking of too much,though,I did not care.The happiest moment was the take-break-time,standing up and took a glance at the class and she would be leaving the class as I did.Walking by her table,I would stare at her notes,ensuring that she really got paying attention to class.When walking out from the class,she would gather with her friends against the wall,taking my side-glance at her;an uncontrollable feeling surged into my mind-self-highness.[Don't laugh,this is the normal reaction if a guy got a little interested in a girl]

When the break was finished,delaying the time to be last one entered the class and taking this precious-few-seconds to make sure she was in the class and glancing at her.I could not look at her because people would be noticing what-the-heck-are-you-looking-at? expression towards me.Be cool and steady,heading to my table.Class was quite boring after I finished those exercises.So,I got nothing to do except took another glance at her.She was concentrating at her works.The way she looked was..marvelous.She wore a-quite-round-shaped spectacles with pink color of T-shirt and a grey in color of jacket usually because her position in the class was directly to the cold air out from the air-condition.She tied her hair into a ponytail tidily which made me felt she was pretty and elegant.When doing exercises,she would draw her tiny lips inwards and her head would bend slightly in a certain degree.That moment which would drive me insane and liked a phone in low of electricity,recharging to a maximum of percentage of battery.

During Biology class,this class would really make me nervous because we both really sat so damn close if she was still here.She would be different hair styles and looks in the class.Somehow,she would tied her up into a cute,little round shaped,somehow,she would loose her hair down lied on her shoulder.I did not have the courage to turn my head back.Close distance but far gap.Even though how close distance in physical but she would never know who the hell was I on the earth.

Unfortunately,I noticed that she had absent two weeks of class.I got a new from friend that she had moved to another country.How sad,that I did not really meet her officially.DAMN! Friendship could be something special like a twinkling star at sky.Glittering in a dark night;giving a new hope.At least say a "HELLO?" could also be a problem.There could be also an impossible to let you to read this too?
P.S.: Hope you'll be alright at a new place,meeting new people.T.C.
Night , fellows.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Could we?

"Dude,how's the feelings of...falling in love with someone??", I heard two guys sitting beside me,having conversation in the library as I was reading "Natural Born Charmer" which written by Susan Elizabeth Philips.

"Falling in love with someone?? Er...you're question is though to answer even though it is without any explanation or calculation but the feelings are joyful,happiness and love?", the guy answered with a grimace on his face and continue his research on Chemistry.A few questions lurked inside my heart for some time. How did LOVE feel and mean? Quite simple but silly, somehow....
Suddenly,the girl..with dark,silk and long hair,sharp bladed nose,cute and little red lips and with a small and round head.She wore a pair of pink spectacles that always made me feeling that she was a shy and intrinsic kind of girl.She often came to library during the recess with a few of books - Additional Mathematics,Chemistry and Physics.
She sat the table which next to me,making me felt like even though it was just a distance-of-a-table.However,the 'distance' between me and her in my heart was very far liked you were in the-lost-of-Gurun-Thar.The way she walked into the library,passing through me. The scene that she left; a refreshment.It was like getting a drink of clean and cold water when you were desperately thirsty.An engaging and renewal of scene.A scene that had made me nervous that she was sitting the next of my table which I sat in the same library.
When she passed through me, I would be extremely serious to read my book.She was heading to the table,my uncontrollable mind would send an impulse to my eyes ;staring at her back just the way she were could let me happy for a day?Breathing the same air in the same library ; reading the knowledge that borrowed from the same library.
She put those books gently and pulled the chair silently and sat gingerly.I read my book without knew where was I reading.Adverting my eyes towards her direction.Could not let her knowing that I was peeking her.Thinking that I was a pervert that observing a girl in this way in my mind.She looked marvelous filled with a little of cuteness when she was solving her questions.Her head would slight at certain angle,showing the right part of her face.Hairs pulled back to her ears.In that moment,I felt the rested and she glittered my dark,cold and deep hear.My eyes could not leave an inch away from her.I was totally bewitching in this!
Suddenly,she looked back and I lost control.Could only feel the strength-less to hold my book.I dropped my book.I tried to glance back at her and she grinned towards my reaction-stupidity and silliness.I felt my blood was rushing to my head as we both exchanged a-second-of-glance.Could that be?
Bell rang and every student was ought to reach the class before teacher did.She was picking up her stationary and books.When I pulled back my chair and stood up,something was behind me and I knew I had knocked it.It was her.All of her exercise books and reference books were fell down.
"Are you okay? You got any hurt?",I asked politely and held her arm tenderly.
"Yup,I guess I'm okay."
We both looked at each other.Her eyes were dark brownish staring at my directly into my eyes.My heart pounded heavily that could burst out from my chest suddenly.Her stare sent a electric chill down to my spine.Another second,I let go her arm and kneed down to pick her books in an-orderly-arranged position quickly.Her face was shyly blushed appeared as I handed books to her.We both walked out from the library with some interesting conversation until we stepped in each class.Could we possibly I be the one of her,vice versa?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Published

Sky blushed with purplish pink as the sun went down the horizon. Swarms of bird were flying in the sky. Office workers were released from the stress and mountain of works and rushing to their home. Vehicles were anywhere in the center of the town. Street lights and dwellers were switching on light. The whole city lighted up and gave the city a new scene. You and I were on the small hill which was nearby this city. You stood up and took a glance on this city.

The movement of you was so much elegant. Your hair and eyes glowed in the sunset as you were observing this scene. You were just too beautiful and too ethereal to be the part of this landscape. You were just like an angel fallen on this green and fresh lane. And, I was the luckiest to beside of you. Looking at you, happiness and excitement occurred on your face. I could see your smile with the background of the city. Your smile was dazzling and endearing. Your smile and grin were the sweetest cure for me to get rid from the sorrow and despair.

You sat back beside me on the grass and I stared at you. I stared at your eyes. A pair of almond-shaped tawny eyes. Your eyes were the most attractive part to me because I could see the joyful and elation in your eyes. I still remembered the first time you cried, tears and cried were flooded on your face. It was kind of ironic and romantic at the moment. As I looked pleadingly into your eyes, the whole world rested at the moment. I was reveled in the your world. People stated that , girl’s eyes were their loving world and it would be completed if she found her beloved.

I smelled your scent of hair as you lied on my chest and looked at the sky. In this obscuring night, our world had begun and it would be endless. Obscuring love within us were the happiest and saddest matter in this world. Elation and laughter because of our moment spent together and did something like couple ; tears and cried because of our childishness of arguing about some small matter. I summoned up my courage and looked into your eyes.It took my time to open my mouth.“Babe, I love you and I cant live without you, can we be together?”. Eagerness of the answer, “Yes , I do “.

We both in the high time and kissed each other. Her lips were tiny and cold. With the warmth and love I gave to her through my lips. The kisses , sending me a chill to my whole body. I thought of she would be happy and lovely. Love filled within us in this glorious night. Her face was blushed and looked cute when we caressed and I could see the joyful in her eyes. A transcend descriptive to suit all of you. She was the one who I found a long time ago. I love you so.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I love your hair smell even though it was just scent of shampoo but it led me to your heart.
I love your eyes even though it was small but it could see through the lies.
I love your nose even though it wasn't sharp but the air you gave out brought my alive.
I love your mouth even though it was simple lips but it reminded me of what I was missing.
I love your ears even though it was normal but it could hear my thought.
I love your cheek even though it was pretty fat but it was the warmest place for me to lay my lips on it.
I love your hands even though it was little but it was the way I could hold your hands to another paradise.
But what was I loving her?
I love you even though you're not utterly perfect but that was the way I loved you. Love blinded me. Love led me to you. And that was my answer.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

2/2 or 1/2 or 0 ?

August came, July gone ~
School life is going to end very very soon , about a year left..
Recently, mind confused and disorientated..
The life of a teenager must be included certain part , academy , sport, family , friends, and ....
Maybe I'm thinking too much of these..
Imbalance and unhealthy lifestyle..
But whenever I can see you..I feel..so happy or..stress-less...
Your smile is endearing whenever you're smiling..especially your grin..I can't even deny it but you're not mine , not even meet you officially , though...
Why would a guy will fall in love with a girl who he thinks she is.....PERFECT in his mind...?
ASS HOLE == don't be the pathetic one please...
At least, she can ignite my fire in my heart..maybe it is too...over...but...a girl that you think she is perfect to you..[even though no one is perfect] , those sentences will be blurted out..in your mind?
SHE IS THE ONE !!! Maybe I'm just bluffing..she don''t even know who am I...making a false hope...just erase it...make it blank...